Renowned SBU professor, wife killed by DWI driver





	Son Aaron and brother Allan hold a wedding photo of Edward and Ilene. Photo by Jennifer Choi (click for larger version)

June 24, 2009 | 03:04 PM
Stony Brook University professor and autism treatment researcher Edward "Ted" Carr of Setauket was killed Saturday when an allegedly intoxicated driver veered into oncoming traffic and struck his vehicle.

Carr, 61, a leading psychology professor at SBU, was driving with his wife, Ilene Wasserman, 58, on Route 25A in Wading River Saturday afternoon when their car was hit. Police said Michael Koss, 66, of Rocky Point was operating his 2004 Jeep Cherokee westbound on Route 25A when he crossed into the eastbound lane of traffic and struck the couple's 2000 Honda Civic.

Carr and Wasserman were airlifted to Stony Brook University Medical Center, where Carr was pronounced dead. Wasserman, a psychologist in Port Jefferson, was initially reported to be in critical condition. She was taken off life support on Tuesday. The couple is survived by their 20-year-old son, Aaron Carr.

Koss and his two passengers, Serena Koss, 60, of Rocky Point and Mary Lynch, 55, of Mount Sinai were transported by ambulance to the same hospital, where they remain in stable condition. Seventh Squad Det. Sgt. James McGuinness said Monday that Koss has been charged with driving while intoxicated and will be arraigned when he is released from the hospital.

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Services for Carr and Wasserman were to be held Wednesday at Shalom Memorial Chapels in Smithtown, followed by burial at New Montefiore Cemetery in Farmingdale, according to Aaron Carr. The couple's only son said he hopes people remember his mother as a "simple woman who appreciated all the small things in life," and his father as a man "who liked to help out the underdogs, like people with autism." He added that his parents enjoyed taking walks together and were on their way to enjoy nature out east when the crash occurred.

Fiddling with his mother's wedding rings hanging from his necklace, Aaron said he feels "regretful but positive." "It's very important to accept death because it happens to everyone," he said. "If you're angry about it, you're surrounding yourself with the wrong emotion because nothing positive can come out of anger. The purpose of life is to live in the highest quality of life, and that's more important than quantity."

After summer in the family's Setauket home, Aaron said he plans on majoring in psychology at the University of Connecticut in the fall. Even though many who knew his parents may feel anger toward Koss, the 20-year-old advised them to forgive. "If you keep focusing on the man that killed them," Aaron said, "you won't be focusing on the great lives they lived."

Allan Carr, the professor's older brother, said, "The man was a giant in his field. He worked himself morning, noon and night to make lives better for autistic children." A man with a "great sense of humor," Allan said his younger brother was an "all around great guy." Through tears Allan added, "My brother and Ilene together left footprints in the sands of time."

The couple's neighbor, Gerald Gargiulo, said Carr and Wasserman were "very dedicated professionals" and "wonderful neighbors." "We're absolutely shocked and terribly saddened," Gargiulo said.

Patricia Whitaker, a fellow psychology professor at the university, described Carr as "completely giving." "All of his work was to help children with autism," Whitaker said. "He just loved all the children and their families and just wanted to help." The professor said Carr was very popular with the students, who always named him Professor of the Year.

Wasserman, a longtime member of the Suffolk County Psychological Association, was also remembered by colleagues. "A warm, gentle, and well respected clinician, Dr. Wasserman cared deeply for her patients and always strived to provide them with the best possible treatment," SCPA President Helen Meyers wrote on the association's website. "She and her husband will be missed."

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